Valentine’s Day Warning!

Be careful.

Be very careful.

They all fell for it.

Romeo and Julliet.

Kais and Leila.

Cleopatra and Mark Antony

And now, you.

Yes, you!

Listen up. Ms.-Independent-I-don’t-need-a-man-to-take-care-of-me!Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and if you’re not careful, you could end up just like one of those infamous couples I just mentioned. Ruined forever! I’m serious! Do you hear me? You could, literally, in just a matter of moments, alter the entire direction of your life. Listen, I know what I’m talking about, and as an Arabic woman, it’s my duty to warn you of the dangers — but even more importantly than that — you know what I’m talking about.

Arab men and sweet talk.

Chocolate? Roses? Diamonds?

They have nothing on Arab men and sweet talk.

Look, Arab men are professionals. They know what works. They could take the most stubborn, marriage-resistant, independent female and turn her into a bowl of mushy jelly — bright eyed, and all gooey inside, emphatically proclaiming “YES!” to marriage — even if she’s not even sure she even likes the guy! The Arab man is full of passion, fire, and can create the most poetic verses that even Khalil Gibran would envy.

Mr. Arab Man will look straight into your eyes and tell you that his life began the moment he laid eyes on you, or that you are the very reason for his existence.

Blame it on Olm Kalthoum.

Seriously.

I mean, what do you expect with love song lyrics like, “…With your light the dawn of my life started…!” I mean, come on! Resist? Are you kidding me? What girl out there wouldn’t melt hearing those words?

And if he has an accent, then that pushes his sexy, cool points up by at least 70% – no kidding! Actually, this rule applies for most ethnic men — especially the French. In fact, the French just might have a slight advantage over the rest.

Romeo = Tarek = Pierre = Miguel…it’s all the same.

Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

After being hounded by some half-Arab, half-European guy, I finally agreed to go out with him, figuring he’ll leave me alone. I was strong. Really strong. I looked right into his eyes and said, “Listen up, pal, I know what you guys are all about, you can’t flatter me thinking I’m gonna fall for you! I’m no demure, delicate princess, batting my eyelashes waiting for your attention! I know your game! Can’t play a playa’, bro — got it?!”

Within 10 minutes I was picking out the names of our 10 children. Thinking of my dark skin, combined with his blue eyes, and where we would build our summer home…would it be in Syria, Italy or somewhere in between?

So, here’s my fair warning to you…before you allow yourself to get swept off your feet this Valentine’s Day and drown in all the romance — just remember my words.

Sweet talk.

It’s so sweet…it’s dangerous.

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