In addition to being a blogger for arabisto.com, I am also a columnist for Aramica Magazine. My monthly articles will appear in both their East and West Coast editions. Enjoy!
http://www.aramica.com/
"HAFLI WARS!" -California Edition - Jan. 15-29, 2010
"VALENTINE'S DAY WARNING!" - NY edition - Feb. 10-24, 2010
"WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH" - California Edition - March 16-30 2010
"ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER" - New York Edition - May 19 - June 2 2010
*****
HAFLI WARS!
It happens every year.
Hafli Wars!
Yes — Hafli Wars! The intensity begins in the beginning of the holiday season, escalates around mid-December and culminates to the high breaking point on the night of Dec. 31st...
The burning question...?
Who's gonna have the most SLAMMIN' Hafli on New Year's Eve?!
It's a mistake you can't afford to make!
You've got to make the right decision! It's the one night you wait all year round for — it's THE night! To see — and more importantly, ladies — to BE seen! There's a lot of stressful preparation that goes into that magical night! How will you wear your hair? What dress will you wear? Your make-up? How much gold can you drench on yourself to be just slightly showy enough - without being overtly obnoxious? And just how many eligible doctors will actually show up, anyway?
You know, those sorts of questions.
But it all boils down to one crucial decision...
Which party do I go to?!
You've gotta make your decision quick! In my city there were 2 separate parties going on. People were confused for weeks. Walking around in a daze — making reservations, then quickly cancelling them. Usually there's one sure winner but every so often — just like the rarity of the Blue Moon — there'll be more than one to choose from.
And when that happens...
The Hafli Wars begin!
Different "factions" compete to attract the bulk of the community. Some pre-empt — announcing their party as early as September! Thereby, claiming their territorial New Year's Eve Hafli Rights before anyone has a chance!
Oh...the Drama.
Because the last thing you want is to go to a bad party — not so much because it was a bad party, but only to wake up the next day and hear about how great the other one was. Now that would really set off the year on the bad foot! Then all next year, all you'll do is blame everything that goes wrong, on starting off the New Year at the wrong hafli. For every bad thing that happens — no matter how irrelevant — all that will come out of your mouth is: "You know why this year was bad? Because we went to that bad hafli! If we went to that other hafli, it would have been good, and we would have had a good year!"
Then the cursing begins.
Oh...the Pressure.
I went to neither.
I took my favorite wine, and spent the day enjoying every moment, cherishing the present, reflecting on the past, hoping for the future — and being grateful for this simple, yet beautiful, life God has blessed me with.
I really felt the Old Year change into the New Year...quietly...stunningly...beautifully.
I wish the most beautiful year, peace with each other, and God's blessing in 2010.
Kil aam wa intay bakheer!
*****
VALENTINE'S DAY WARNING!
Be careful.
Be very careful.
They all fell for it.
Romeo and Julliet.
Kais and Leila.
Cleopatra and Mark Antony
And now, you.
Yes, you!
Listen up. Ms.-Independent-I-don't-need-a-man-to-take-care-of-me! Valentine's Day is fast approaching and if you're not careful, you could end up just like one of those infamous couples I just mentioned. Ruined forever! I'm serious! Do you hear me? You could, literally, in just a matter of moments, alter the entire direction of your life. Listen, I know what I'm talking about, and as an Arabic woman, it's my duty to warn you of the dangers — but even more importantly than that — you know what I'm talking about.
Arab men and sweet talk.
Chocolate? Roses? Diamonds?
They have nothing on Arab men and sweet talk.
Look, Arab men are professionals. They know what works. They could take the most stubborn, marriage-resistant, independent female and turn her into a bowl of mushy jelly — bright eyed, and all gooey inside, emphatically proclaiming "YES!" to marriage — even if she's not even sure she even likes the guy! The Arab man is full of passion, fire, and can create the most poetic verses that even Khalil Gibran would envy.
Mr. Arab Man will look straight into your eyes and tell you that his life began the moment he laid eyes on you, or that you are the very reason for his existence.
Blame it on Olm Kalthoum.
Seriously.
I mean, what do you expect with love song lyrics like, "...With your light the dawn of my life started...!" I mean, come on! Resist? Are you kidding me? What girl out there wouldn't melt hearing those words?
And if he has an accent, then that pushes his sexy, cool points up by at least 70% - no kidding! Actually, this rule applies for most ethnic men — especially the French. In fact, the French just might have a slight advantage over the rest.
Romeo = Tarek = Pierre = Miguel...it's all the same.
Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.
After being hounded by some half-Arab, half-European guy, I finally agreed to go out with him, figuring he'll leave me alone. I was strong. Really strong. I looked right into his eyes and said, "Listen up, pal, I know what you guys are all about, you can't flatter me thinking I'm gonna fall for you! I'm no demure, delicate princess, batting my eyelashes waiting for your attention! I know your game! Can't play a playa', bro — got it?!"
Within 10 minutes I was picking out the names of our 10 children. Thinking of my dark skin, combined with his blue eyes, and where we would build our summer home...would it be in Syria, Italy or somewhere in between?
So, here's my fair warning to you...before you allow yourself to get swept off your feet this Valentine's Day and drown in all the romance — just remember my words.
Sweet talk.
It's so sweet...it's dangerous.
